Learn about the custom of marriage of H’Mong Ethnic Group in Sapa Vietnam

Tourists come to Sapa will be most attracted by many unique customs. Today, VietNam Typical Tours will referral to visitors about “the custom of marriage of H’Mong Ethnic Group in Sapa Vietnam”.

The custom of marriage of H’Mong Ethnic Group in Sapa Vietnam has the call be custom of “pulling wife” of H’mong people. A man can ask his friends to lure a girl he likes to his house and keeps her there in three days. During these days, if the girl agrees to become his wife, a wedding will be held. However, the girl can happily go home after three days if she does not like him.

Traditionally, when a boy wants to marry a girl, he will make his intentions clear, and will “snatch” (zij) her during day light or night at any opportunity that is appropriate. This is traditionally only a symbolic kidnapping.

Before kidnapping her, the boy must first give a gift to the girl whom he wants to marry. After a couple of days, the boy can then kidnap the girl. If the boy has never given a gift to the girl, she is allowed to refuse and go back home with any family member who comes to save her.

It should be noted that this is an old tradition that is rarely practiced today. The parents are not notified at the time of the kidnapping, but an envoy from the boy’s clan is sent to inform them of the whereabouts of their daughter and her safety.

The girl is not allowed to visit anyone’s house for three days after this. After three days or more, the parents of the groom prepare the first wedding feast for the newlywed couple (hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis). The wedding is usually a two-day process. The couple returns to the house of the bride’s family at the end of the first wedding feast and spends the night in preparation for the next day.

On the second day, the family of the bride prepares a second wedding feast at their home, where the couple will be married (Noj tshoob). Hmong marriage customs differ slightly based on cultural subdivisions within the global Hmong community, but all require the exchange of a bride price from the groom’s family to the bride’s family.

The bride price is compensation for the new family taking the other family’s daughter, as the girl’s parents are now short one person to help with chores. (The price of the girl can vary based on her value or on the parents.) The elders of both families negotiate the amount prior to the engagement and is usually paid in bars of silver or livestock.
Today, it is also often settled in monetary terms. The usual price of a Hmong bride today in America would just depends on the parents or the value of the bride but mostly parents made the wages.

Special point of  the custom of marriage of H’Mong Ethnic Group in Sapa Vietnam is they are allowed to marry blood relatives from their mother side (Neejtsa), for example the children of a brother and sister can marry because they would be from different clans.